How to Start a Meditation Practice at Home (and what stands in your way)

One of the things that gets in the way when starting a meditation practice (or any new habit, really) is ambiguity. That means saying something like, "oh yeah, I'd like to try that", or "I'll do it tomorrow". One of the ways that you can reduce ambiguity is by making a plan for yourself. When are you going to make time to start? Setting a day and time for yourself means it's much more likely to happen. 

Before we dive in, I'd first like to share why I'm so into this practice. Meditation has become a pretty important part of my life over the years - as integrated into my life as brushing my teeth. And it's usually small stuff like that that makes the difference, right? The small daily practices you do to take care of yourself aren't necessarily sexy or trendy, but are actually essential to your overall well being. For me, that's what this practice is. Essential to my wellbeing and immensely impactful for my mental health. I started regularly meditating in 2019, and I'd say it became a daily practice for me about 3 years ago. 

Before that, I'd say I was living my life pretty unconsciously. I went with the flow, but not really in a good way; meaning that I wasn't very intentional with my choices. Meditation has taught me to self-reflect and to actually decide what I want my life to look like and who I want to be. It's what led me to start my own therapy practice and want to work for myself. 

On a smaller scale though, a regular meditation practice has helped me to slow down my thoughts, and to recognize that not everything I think is the absolute truth. Especially negative thoughts about myself. This has led me to less anxiety, higher self-esteem, better communication in my relationships, and even better sleep. 

Fun-but-not-so-fun fact about me is that I used to be really road-ragey. I know, right? Not the cutest. The ability to respond rather than react has not only improved my personal relationships, but also helped me to be able to happily share the road with others. I now get to smile and wave when someone cuts me off rather than feel like I'm going to explode. And guess what? I like it so much better that way. 

So how about you? Road rage much? 

In all seriousness though, if you're looking to reduce anxiety, slow down your thoughts, and improve your communication and relationships, I know from personal experience that meditation can help. It might not be a sexy quick-fix, but I wholeheartedly believe the world would be a better place if more people engaged with this practice (there would definitely be less yelling on the roadways).

So, let’s talk about what stands in your way. 

My guess is that you've started several new habits before, some of which have stuck, and some that haven't. Let's run through some common reasons habits don't stick:

• You put it off until "tomorrow"
• You don't make room for it in your schedule
• You don't have a plan and say things like "oh, I want to start doing X", or "I know I'll feel better when I start doing Y".
• You feel like it has to happen a certain way or it isn't right and you failed
• You beat yourself up when you miss a day and then quit

I may be missing a few, but you get the gist right? Many of these might even hit pretty close to home. I know because these are all reasons some of my habits haven't stuck. I'm sharing these mindset blocks with you for a few reasons. First, to show you that you're not alone, and second, because knowing why something isn't working is good information to figure out how to make it actually work. 

I think these reasons "not to" especially pop up when starting a new practice like meditation, because while you know it will help you, it feels like work. But here's the thing: you're allowed to make things easier for yourself. 

Here are some things that might make starting a meditation practice feel easier, and can help you work through some of the reasons habits don't stick:

Fight all-or-nothing thinking by setting realistic but flexible goals

You don't have to practice every day for it to be helpful - try for 2-3 times per week and go from there.

Make a plan and stick to it 

Once you set your goals, get more specific. Decide on a place, type of practice, and time of day to eliminate the guessing game (and so you're less likely to talk yourself out of it)

Be nice to yourself

Don't expect yourself to know something you've never been taught. Starting a new practice or habit takes time and patience. If you miss a day, that doesn't mean it's over! Look at what didn't work and try again.

I want to check in on you on starting new things. Often, I think we're sold the idea of "change" as something that's easy, sexy, and a quick fix.

Which, of course, is why New Year's resolutions are often long gone by February. Because change, like, actual change, isn't a fad or quick fix. 

The same is true for starting a meditation practice. It's something that isn't just going to "happen". You need to be intentional and create space for it on purpose in order for it to work. Which is not actually that sexy. But hey, that's okay, right? Because when you look at the long term, the not-so-sexy stuff keeps us healthy. Things like brushing your teeth, making your doctor's appointments, and going to therapy are things that you do for the maintenance of your health, not because they're shiny and fun. 

Meditation is the same. Not super exciting, really, but honestly so worth it in the long run. 

Benefits like improved mood, less anxiety, better sleep, and even improved communication are all side effects of engaging with this practice long term. 

And that's what it is: a long term lifestyle shift. Becoming a mindful person means you get to change the way you think and interact with the world. At least for me, it's been the best thing I've ever done for myself.  

Changing your "quick-fix" mindset around this practice can help you to set expectations for yourself about what it will actually look and feel like.

One of the great things about meditation is that once you learn it, it's always available to you. 

My sincere hope is that this practice resonates with you. Whether you download my free meditation video or you want in on my 14-Day Foundations of Meditation course, I hope you start to get curious about what a regular practice can do for you.

I want to encourage you to stick with this practice, whether you do that with me or not. If you're in need of some additional free/lower cost options, please let me know and I'm happy to point you in the right direction. 

I really do believe we can make the world a more gentle place by engaging in practices like meditation. Learning to slow down and be more kind to yourself gives you the s p a c e to be more kind to others. 

Okay, so let’s talk about what meditation actually is. The practice of meditation is the act of focusing your mind for a period of time. This can mean focusing on anything, so I’ll break down the way I teach. 

The practice that I often teach is mindfulness meditation. I use anchors such as the environment, the body, and the breath to help keep you present in the moment. 

By focusing on the different anchors, you allow yourself to be fully present in the moment, even just for a moment. 

So you can try now if you’d like: find a comfortable place to sit and notice your environment. What can you hear? What temperature is it? Where are you sitting?

Now, notice your body. The goal is to be curious. What parts of you feel good, what parts feel tense, where are you right now?

Finally, follow a few rounds of your breath. This can either be through counting your breaths, or by thinking something like, “I am breathing in, I am breathing out”.

The best part is that there really is no right or wrong way to practice. Anytime you sit to focus and be mindful, you’re doing something great for your brain by letting it slow down. 

Like most other things, starting a meditation practice is easier if you have support. My 14-day Foundations of Meditation Course not only contains 14 guided meditations, but also has content to walk you through working through some of the common mindset challenges that comes with new habits. AND, I included some shorter practices for the days when you really don't have time but still want to practice.

I created this course because it's something I needed when I got started with my meditation practice. I designed it with the all-or-nothing thinker in mind: yes, you! The one who feels like you failed when you miss a day, and quits if you're not perfect. 

My approach to meditation is through a lens of grace and compassion. You do not need to be perfect. Period. I guide you through putting systems in place to help you fight all-or-nothing thinking through the learning process. This means:

• Setting realistic goals that actually make sense for your life
• Creating a plan so that you know what to expect and are set up for success
• Knowing that you do not need to show up every single day in order to be "doing it right"
• Being kind to yourself when plans change

Here's what's included:

• Introduction videos designed to walk you through mindset blocks that might pop up and set goals for the course
• Three short (1-3 min) alternate practices that you can use when you've run out of time but still want to practice
• 14 meditation practices that get a little longer each day so that you can gradually get used to meditating

After this course, you'll be equipped to meditate on your own, with or without guidance. My goal in creating this program is to teach you the foundations so that you have the tools you need for your own practice. Of course, you get lifetime access and can come back to it anytime you'd like!