Summer 2023 Newsletter

Welcome to this edition of my monthly newsletter! I don’t know about you, but I blinked, and July was gone. In the past few weeks, I traveled to Colorado for a training with Naropa University and MAPS, did a lot of school work, and have been recovering from a post-travel sickness that is finally starting to let go. In all of the Summer things, a Therapy Theme has emerged that feels truly foundational to my own life, and to all of the work I do with my clients: self compassion.

Therapy Theme

The theme of self-compassion has emerged over and over again this Summer, as we all navigate making plans, feeling busy, and all of the life stuff that causes us to sometimes be really tough on ourselves. 

If this is resonating, I invite you to start by taking a look at the opposite of self compassion. Not being compassionate with yourself looks like being self-critical, beating yourself up, and setting unfair and unrealistic expectations for yourself. You can start to look out for this by paying more attention to your internal narrative - how are you speaking to yourself on a day to day basis? Would you speak that way to a friend? As a matter of fact, would you speak to anyone like that at all?

Something that I hear often when I talk with clients about self compassion is something like this: “I need to be hard on myself to stay motivated”. And I call BS, every time. Think about it: have you ever met anyone who is motivated by put-downs? Personally, I haven’t. In fact, when someone is unkind to me, I try to stay clear and most likely won’t want to do what they say. Take a moment to sincerely consider this: has being mean to yourself ever gotten you where you want to go? 

Let’s take a look at where this comes from, aka: why is it so easy to be unkind to yourself? The short answer is that for most people, our brains are programmed that way. Your inner voice, or inner critic is a product of your conditioning, which means that you most likely inherited some aspects of this voice from your caregivers. This means that the way your caregiver(s) spoke to you, or talked about themselves is how you learned to speak to yourself as well. Chances are that if you had a critical parent, or you witnessed family members who frequently put themselves down, you may find yourself struggling with self-compassion. 

The good news is that you’re not stuck with this inner critic if you don’t want to be. Here are a few things that you can do to begin reframing your self-critical thoughts:

• Start by noticing that they exist. A great way to slow down your thoughts and become more aware of them is to start a meditation or mindfulness practice.  
• Once you notice your inner critic, start to question its truth. Are you really a terrible person because you made a mistake? Practice challenging your inner critic as much as you can - remember that you’re human and check the expectations you’re setting for yourself.
• Take some time to make a list of things you like about yourself. (And don’t be too tough on yourself if that list is short at first). Maybe you like the color of your eyes, or that you take time to check on your friends, or that you care enough about yourself to make this list in the first place. 
• Consider things that other people like about you. What kind things would your friends or family or coworkers say about you? Have you ever gotten a glowing recommendation from someone, or gotten great feedback at work? Make note of all of these things as well. 
• Be proactive by looking over these lists a few times per week. It can also be helpful to turn these lists into positive affirmations for yourself. A positive affirmation is a brief phrase that you say to yourself to boost self esteem (or in response to your inner critic). An affirmation typically involves an “I am…” statement. For example, “I am a good person”. 
• Do what works for you. If using “I am” statements feels tough or doesn’t quite sit right, you’re not alone. Using affirmations like this when you’re struggling with self esteem can feel a bit like you’re lying to yourself - if you’re bumping into this, I invite you to reframe these statements to “I am working on…”. So, rather than saying to yourself, “I am confident”, you can say, “I am working on building my confidence”. 

The way that you speak to yourself matters. I hope that as we approach the end of Summer, you’re able to treat yourself with more compassion - you deserve it!

Practice Updates and Behind the Scenes

As you may know, I’ve been back in school since May working on a Psychedelic Assisted Therapy Certificate from Naropa University. This program has already changed my life in so many ways, and ultimately will be changing my practice too in the near future. The next piece of this journey for me is my final immersion in Colorado at the end of this month. I’ll be experiencing and facilitating Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, and over the next few months will be putting the pieces together to implement this work into Mind Body Wellness. While I’m still navigating the logistics at this time, I’m putting it out there for a few reasons. First of all, I am on fire for this work. Deepening my relationship with psychedelic medicine has been a truly transformative personal practice for me, and I cannot wait to share it with you. I also want to let you know that it’s coming(!), and that if you’re interested in working with me in this way, you will be able to in the near future. 

 Something else that’s coming soon is an offering that’s been on my heart for the past few months. I’m reflecting on which practices are important to me, and which I see that add value to the lives of my clients and those around me. Two answers have been on my heart: meditation practice and leaning into community. And so, I want to offer you a practice that is both. Starting this Fall, I’m going to be offering a morning meditation once per week via Zoom. These practices will be beginner-friendly, financially accessible, and will take place in a community of humans who want to start or deepen a meditation practice. I’ll offer a drop in rate of $10, alongside a monthly membership that will include access to the recordings of each weekly practice. Stay tuned for more info!

Resources

One way you can treat yourself with kindness is to set boundaries. Honoring your energy and your capacity is (in my opinion) one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself. Back in May, I facilitated a workshop all about boundaries: what they are, how to set them, and how to listen to your body to determine what ‘yes’ and ‘no’ actually feel like. This information is truly a game-changer, and I was so excited about how the workshop came together. So much so that I re-recorded it so that it’s available to you anytime! If you’re not one for sitting down to watch a video, no problem. I’m not either, which is why I’m offering this workshop two ways: the video presentation AND the audio file so that you can listen podcast-style. Personally, this is so much better for my learning style, so I decided I’d give you that option as well. Check it out here. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I find therapy themes to be SO cool. As I’m having conversations about self-compassion with my clients, one of my favorite podcasts also released an episode on the same topic, around the same time. If that doesn’t scream collective consciousness, I don’t know what does! To listen, here’s the link. 

Thank you for being here, and for choosing to stay connected with me. If you missed previous newsletters, you can access them here to go back to check out the therapy themes and resources I sent in previous months. 

Want more resources? You can also check out the Resources page of my website.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Have a beautiful Summer - I can't wait to connect with you again soon